Our Memories Affect Us

Our Memories Affect Us

Whenever I have an emotional attachment to something, someone, or a particular event, it is always easy for me to recall – “like it happened yesterday.” For instance, I can recall every girlfriend I’ve had since elementary. During my “cleaning binges” I’ll often find myself caught up in a string of past memories from looking at one object (which is why my apartment is still a mess). However I can’t recall the names of most of my teachers, and certainly not my professors – this is sad, being that it was more recent.

The human brain is an amazing system. Did you know that one human brain generates more electrical impulses in a single day than all of the world's telephones put together?

Our brain, creating memories, helps us to retain important information – for school, work, laws that need to be followed, and your anniversary date, or girlfriends birthday (sadly, in one relationship, it took me several years to finally remember my girlfriends birth date...can’t blame her for being mad at me for that one). Though a lot of what we remember is good, there are often memories that can hurt us, break us, and even affect our relationships in a negative way.

The memory itself doesn’t hurt us, but the way that the memory is remembered can. If you’ve read my testimony devotion on my other site, then you would know that I had been broken down and defeated by my past – by the way I viewed specific memories.

Within the last two years, this had occurred to me. It started with the loss of a relationship. My mistakes began to decay my very foundation of life and these memories ripped the life out of me. By the way I treated this person, by taking her for granted; my past began to eat away at me. When I knew that it was most certainly over, when she absolutely decided she would never take me back, the pain shot in – like getting bamboo shoots shoved up your finger nails. Instead of committing and training to see these memories as a lesson to be had, as being that it was a special relationship I would always treasure – keeping my thoughts to the good times and learning from the bad times – I only saw the bad. Alcohol had then become my answer and the result of allowing my past to swallow me whole.

My life went downhill fast, in fact, saying that I dived off a cliff would be more appropriate. So what should we do to avoid these cliffs and not become “memory cliff divers”?

Mistakes will always be a part of our lives, we make them. People do come and go in our lives, whether because of choices we make, circumstances, or because death got hold of them. We will survive well, and cut back much pain, if we learn to train the way we view our memories positively. Not only are we what we eat, but also, we are what we think. Instead of seeing the bad in a relationship, both past and present, see the good. We can apply this to all memories, both present and the far, far, past. This is one reason why many people will go through many partners and love relationships, because they began to only see the hurt and pain the other person caused. So don’t only learn to view things in a positive light, but also learn how to forgive and not count their mistake against them.

Adjust the way you view your memories and you will adjust the amount and level of pain those memories bring you. This will not just help you personally, but will also change your relationships with the people who surround you. Be a problem solver by facing them with courage head-on.

Don’t be afraid to learn and change who you are,

Ikaika Mossman