How to Forgive

Forgiveness is not an easy decision or act to show towards another, especially when it hurts so much. People wonder, and I've often wondered myself "How can I forgive?" Especially, how can I forgive when I hate the person everytime I see them or think of them? How can I forgive them after what that person has done to me, or to my family?

When the pain is great and the wound is deep, it makes it that much more difficult to allow the healing to take place. Oddly though, forgiveness is the key for the healing to take place. Think about it for just a moment. When you get hurt and need stitches, what is the first thing you do? You take care of it. Go see a doctor right? What would happen if you were at work, needed stitches, but continued working without at least cleaning it up and protecting it with a band-aid, or duck-tape? It would just get worse, and pretty soon you'd have gangrene or get beaten up by a gang of green people...that's pretty serious.

As much as you may dislike, hate, and fester with boils at the thought of the retard, he/she is still just a human being. Retarded people need help...that's why we have clinics and psychiatrists for them, right? In all seriousness, we need to forgive so we can heal, so we can move on and enjoy this life that was given to us. Holding in unforgiveness is like poison to our bodies, it is us continuing to poke at our wounds and making it hurt when what we really need is for it to be healed. Wounds will not heal in this condition.

So how do you forgive? I said it was not easy, and I certainly meant it. It's a choice, the choice to choose that it is not worth holding in the pain of the events that took place. That it is far better to let go and not let the incident of the painful past continue to keep you down. Why allow the past, that person's stupid act, to continue to hurt you? Why give him more time than he's already taken?

Now this is the how to forgive...that it is a choice to let go of the past. However, I did not say anything about forgetting. That will be tomorrows post. Today I just wanted to let you know that you are more than worth getting over what the person has done to you, you deserve better than having past events continue to hurt you and pin you. Forgiveness is the key for your healing, not his/hers.

The "How to forgive", it is not easy, but it is necessary for healing. Your healing, I can't stress that enough, because forgiveness will begin to release you from your pain. It is your bandage, the neosporin, and the natural healing process all in one.

Tomorrow I'll talk about the "forgetting" part that often follows the catch phrase "forgive and forget." Hope you at least now have the why and how in forgiving others, whether you are dating, married, or in any other relational situation - heck even if its a stranger. The why and how still remains the same.

Take care,

Ikaika Mossman