Breaking up is hard to do

As I have said time and time again, "Life is about relationships."  There is no way to get around it, it's a part of life, a part of what it means to be a human, and a part of what it means to live life to its fullest.  Over are lifetime we will make and grow many relationships.  From our best friend we meet in elementary that becomes a life long friend, to our first "puppy love" girlfriend, or boyfriend, as a child, and with teachers, pastors, co-workers, the one we marry and spend our life with, and with our family and even with God.

Unfortunately not all the relationships that we make will last.  For numerous reasons our relationships with others will part ways, and none of those reasons are really happy ones, or they are at least a mixture of sadness and happiness (like when your child leaves the home to pursue a degree in college).  What probably is the most heart wrenching way for a relationship to end is, in my opinion, breaking up with someone you've invested time into and death.

Breaking up is not easy to do, whether through a loss of a life - where neither of you have a choice, or because someone gave up and decided to cut their losses - where there was at least some choice on each others part.

There is nothing that we can really do about death, it's a part of life and cannot be helped, though it can be prolonged by making healthy choices - with food, not doing drugs, exercise, and spiritual choices - going to church, having a relationship with God.  But while we are still alive and breathing there is a choice to take care and healthily grow and strengthen our relationships so that the only thing that may temporarily break it is death itself.

As pain staking it is to feel betrayed by a break-up, or a divorce, remember that what hopefully brought you to a point of giving your hearts to each other was love.  Now in your current relationship, or in your next one, be sure to hold on to that love and remember it as he or she makes mistakes.  Let your love, not your anger, guide your decisions in that relationship (especially if you have a relationship with God; he asks that we be forgiving and patient with each other, forgiving of each others faults).  Let go of the "I'm right, she's wrong", or "he's wrong" malady and cancer, because if not you begin to build resentment towards each other, a history of wrongs, and the healing process just because a band-aid over a festering wound, rather that correctly treating the wound with disinfectant.  Yes a scar is there, and you will remember it, but it no longer has to hurt or become a stopping point in your relationship.

So remember, whether you are dating, in a relationship, or married, to hold on to your love for each other and communicate how you are each feeling in the relationship.  Don't just assume that things are ok, or that they will be ok "somehow."  It doesn't work that way, relationships take work and communication on both sides - whether you are the one who's always forgiving, or finding yourself falling on your face.  Love one another and we can keep heart breaks down to a minimum.

Here's something to think about:

We already have death to contend with in breaking relationships, and life is so short, so why would we want to make life even more painful by not loving each other and allowing relationships to break because you just chose to give up.

Live well and grow your relationships by communicating, being loving, and being forgiving of each others relationships.

How to Impress a Guy

How to impress a guy

So you want to impress him...that guy you have had your sneaky little eyes on for some time. You feel like your chances are too low, perhaps even none at all. You see him at school, perhaps around town and have never had said anything more than just a “hi,” or perhaps only gave recognition glances and smiles. Probably for some of you he’s a co-worker that you admire, and that leadership quality he has makes your blood dance and your hair wiggle. He could be someone you just met online, someone you want to make a good impression with, or even a friend that you are beginning to have feelings for. Do you have a chance?

I’ve talked to several women like you and I must say that perhaps you are underestimating yourself. It is not always easy to actually have confidence and a “go-get-em” attitude, but who says that you actually have to “have” it, when you can just pretend you have it. You told me, “but that’s not me, that’s not who I am.” I thought about that and it dawned on me that you are an ever changing concept. “You” have been changing ever since you were born. So the “You” can continue to move on, progress, and change for the better even to this day.

This was the first thing I wanted to let you know before I dive any further into this topic. If you want to impress a guy, you have to allow yourself room to change. In fact, if you want to progress at all in life – man, woman, giraffe, or whatever you are, you need to make room to change and progress even further. People normally change because of some circumstance, but why wait to change when it’s to the point of where it has to be done “or else.” When you can change and progress even before the situation comes that will require it. Change is good...just like liking guys is good (by the way, I don’t like guys).

O.K There is a guy you have the “hot’s” for and you can’t get him off your mind. You want him to talk to you, notice you, or take you out, what do you do? Here’s how to impress the guy.

Were going to have to start slow, are you ready? TALK to him. Not all guys are looking for a piece of “cakeass” – I hope you understand what I’m saying. If you are looking for that kind of guy, then you are reading the wrong web page. Anyway, talk to him, make him see who you are through conversation. Of course it is always awkward to just start some random conversation, but it was awkward when you first do anything. You are going to have to talk to anyone if you want their attention. What should you say?

I hope that you’ve been paying attention to the guy you like, because it would be wise to ease into a conversation that is relevant to him. Easy things like “Did you get a haircut? Because it looks nice,” “You have a great smile,” and then add to it with some current related current event | situation | or topic. The point is to get him talking. When you can accomplish that, you will now have a potential friend, and he has now become interested in talking to you. Not a bad start right?

So talk to him. If you are really nervous or insecure about it start small. Talk to a guy you normally don’t talk to, or better yet a stranger who happens to be near you and strike up a conversation with them. Use the weather, complain about the economy, or just compliment them and build on the conversation. Practicing with someone with you don’t even like will at least help you learn how to strike up conversations and build momentum with more questions or related topics. Connecting things together and making a smooth flowing conversation doesn’t have to be painstaking. It could be like this:

*Sitting at a bus stop* Girl: Excuse me, what time to you have? Guy: It’s (___) o’clock. Girl: The bus is late again. I swear to goodness that my friend must be driving, because she’s always late too. Don’t you just hate it when your friends (or whoever) are always late?

Ha-ha! This it sounds kind of weird, but the point is to make it relevant and throwing the “ball” back in his court. I love intellectual girls, one who is down to earth and able to hold a decent conversation. I mean, if life is about relationships, then surely communication is the key to those relationships. You don’t have to be a pro or an expert speaker. You just have to practice and be aware of what you are saying so you don’t sound like some empty headed bimbo (if you were offended by this, then I am truly sorry...lol).

Anyway, speak, talk, communicate, and use body language if you have to. As I said, if you are nervous or uncertain if you can actually talk to the guy you like, practice with a stranger, with someone it won’t matter to you about if you mess up and end up sounding like a barking fruit bat with.

Last thing with the speaking part: If you are too nervous and shy to speak and practice with a stranger in person, use the internet. Some open social networking site like “Facebook,” “MySpace,” or “Asian Ave.” I personally recommend “Asian Ave,” because it just seems more open to random chatters and the likes. And Yes, showing a guy you have to cohunes to speak to him is impressive.

What else can you do to impress a guy? (maybe I should re-title this topic to “How to get a guys attention” ahhh “How to impress a guy works” works for me)

Well, there are simple things like taking a shower, dressing to impress – but don’t be too revealing, unless you like to be thought of as “slutty,” and perfume is always nice too...lol. Yes, I did say take a shower. No one likes a stink _____ (fill in the blank).

Being yourself is also a great thing, but of course most people put on their best behavior when they meet someone new. Nonetheless, try to be yourself, don’t be something you are not unless you want that to be who you are – did you like that one? It’s a part of the concept of the ever changing “you” I spoke about earlier. No one likes a “fakie” kind of person. I certainly don’t, and I don’t know anyone who does. But there are always exceptions I suppose.

In my opinion as a guy, and even with good single friends of mine, nothing speaks up like personality (someone who’ll be real and take a chance to just talk). Now after talking, invite him out with your friends, take him to lunch...give him a massage...use your imagination.

Hope that I was of some help to you, my very few readers – Grizzly B. I must say that internet marketing is certainly not easy, and that you will use my advice. It’s really simple I know, but it’s also the most effective way to get a guy. So go and impress a guy and thanks for reading “How to impress a guy.”

Aloha,

Ika