How to Impress a Guy

How to impress a guy

So you want to impress him...that guy you have had your sneaky little eyes on for some time. You feel like your chances are too low, perhaps even none at all. You see him at school, perhaps around town and have never had said anything more than just a “hi,” or perhaps only gave recognition glances and smiles. Probably for some of you he’s a co-worker that you admire, and that leadership quality he has makes your blood dance and your hair wiggle. He could be someone you just met online, someone you want to make a good impression with, or even a friend that you are beginning to have feelings for. Do you have a chance?

I’ve talked to several women like you and I must say that perhaps you are underestimating yourself. It is not always easy to actually have confidence and a “go-get-em” attitude, but who says that you actually have to “have” it, when you can just pretend you have it. You told me, “but that’s not me, that’s not who I am.” I thought about that and it dawned on me that you are an ever changing concept. “You” have been changing ever since you were born. So the “You” can continue to move on, progress, and change for the better even to this day.

This was the first thing I wanted to let you know before I dive any further into this topic. If you want to impress a guy, you have to allow yourself room to change. In fact, if you want to progress at all in life – man, woman, giraffe, or whatever you are, you need to make room to change and progress even further. People normally change because of some circumstance, but why wait to change when it’s to the point of where it has to be done “or else.” When you can change and progress even before the situation comes that will require it. Change is good...just like liking guys is good (by the way, I don’t like guys).

O.K There is a guy you have the “hot’s” for and you can’t get him off your mind. You want him to talk to you, notice you, or take you out, what do you do? Here’s how to impress the guy.

Were going to have to start slow, are you ready? TALK to him. Not all guys are looking for a piece of “cakeass” – I hope you understand what I’m saying. If you are looking for that kind of guy, then you are reading the wrong web page. Anyway, talk to him, make him see who you are through conversation. Of course it is always awkward to just start some random conversation, but it was awkward when you first do anything. You are going to have to talk to anyone if you want their attention. What should you say?

I hope that you’ve been paying attention to the guy you like, because it would be wise to ease into a conversation that is relevant to him. Easy things like “Did you get a haircut? Because it looks nice,” “You have a great smile,” and then add to it with some current related current event | situation | or topic. The point is to get him talking. When you can accomplish that, you will now have a potential friend, and he has now become interested in talking to you. Not a bad start right?

So talk to him. If you are really nervous or insecure about it start small. Talk to a guy you normally don’t talk to, or better yet a stranger who happens to be near you and strike up a conversation with them. Use the weather, complain about the economy, or just compliment them and build on the conversation. Practicing with someone with you don’t even like will at least help you learn how to strike up conversations and build momentum with more questions or related topics. Connecting things together and making a smooth flowing conversation doesn’t have to be painstaking. It could be like this:

*Sitting at a bus stop* Girl: Excuse me, what time to you have? Guy: It’s (___) o’clock. Girl: The bus is late again. I swear to goodness that my friend must be driving, because she’s always late too. Don’t you just hate it when your friends (or whoever) are always late?

Ha-ha! This it sounds kind of weird, but the point is to make it relevant and throwing the “ball” back in his court. I love intellectual girls, one who is down to earth and able to hold a decent conversation. I mean, if life is about relationships, then surely communication is the key to those relationships. You don’t have to be a pro or an expert speaker. You just have to practice and be aware of what you are saying so you don’t sound like some empty headed bimbo (if you were offended by this, then I am truly sorry...lol).

Anyway, speak, talk, communicate, and use body language if you have to. As I said, if you are nervous or uncertain if you can actually talk to the guy you like, practice with a stranger, with someone it won’t matter to you about if you mess up and end up sounding like a barking fruit bat with.

Last thing with the speaking part: If you are too nervous and shy to speak and practice with a stranger in person, use the internet. Some open social networking site like “Facebook,” “MySpace,” or “Asian Ave.” I personally recommend “Asian Ave,” because it just seems more open to random chatters and the likes. And Yes, showing a guy you have to cohunes to speak to him is impressive.

What else can you do to impress a guy? (maybe I should re-title this topic to “How to get a guys attention” ahhh “How to impress a guy works” works for me)

Well, there are simple things like taking a shower, dressing to impress – but don’t be too revealing, unless you like to be thought of as “slutty,” and perfume is always nice too...lol. Yes, I did say take a shower. No one likes a stink _____ (fill in the blank).

Being yourself is also a great thing, but of course most people put on their best behavior when they meet someone new. Nonetheless, try to be yourself, don’t be something you are not unless you want that to be who you are – did you like that one? It’s a part of the concept of the ever changing “you” I spoke about earlier. No one likes a “fakie” kind of person. I certainly don’t, and I don’t know anyone who does. But there are always exceptions I suppose.

In my opinion as a guy, and even with good single friends of mine, nothing speaks up like personality (someone who’ll be real and take a chance to just talk). Now after talking, invite him out with your friends, take him to lunch...give him a massage...use your imagination.

Hope that I was of some help to you, my very few readers – Grizzly B. I must say that internet marketing is certainly not easy, and that you will use my advice. It’s really simple I know, but it’s also the most effective way to get a guy. So go and impress a guy and thanks for reading “How to impress a guy.”

Aloha,

Ika

A Season for Dating

A Season for Dating...

This past December, a month after I came to California, one of my dearest friends passed away from incurable cancer. He was having aches in his leg and lower back area, so we assumed it was just some kind of lower back issue. I advised him to go to the hospital to have it looked at. A couple of weeks later he passed away. If life was not difficult enough already, because my girlfriend and I broke up the month before, I was alone in a different state with no friends or family to support me. The two events were so close to each other, it was miserable, I was so depressed and hated being up here. I was filled with a lot of resentment and grief; it left me with the sensation of being powerless and deserted. I mull over that time to of been my season of mourning. Seasons - what is a season? A season is a time when something changes to another. Spring turns into summer, and summer into fall, this is a fact of life. Even places like Hawaii has different seasons, it is just less noticeable than other places in the world.

As humans, we go into different seasons; just as the landscape around us will go through various seasons. We will experience a season of being single, of dating, and often from dating to marriage. A season of joy and seasons of sorrow and even times where it feels like nothing is changing, it is unavoidable for us as humans to not experience these seasons in our life.

With every new season will come its own challenges and meaningfulness, even if some times have more sorrow or happiness than others. The important thing is that we allow ourselves to grow through each of these different times, moving forward, strengthening our weaknesses and revitalizing our strengths. What season do you currently find yourself in?

I would love to be dating right now, but I know it is not my time. I am in a season of singleness. Truthfully, I would be keen on seeing a beautiful Asian Christian woman, to grow a warm bond that has significance and is devoid of the absurd running around and BS that a lot of people call having a relationship or dating. As we all know dating can be casual, or more serious, I have constantly been the sort who takes dating as serious - that I would only try to pursue a single individual at a time. Unfortunately I know I’m not ready to date. Maybe it was all my unsuccessful relationships that helped educate me on this, but at last I see what people who care about me were trying to tell me all along. It is a poor idea to just hop into a relationship without first counting the price of what it will cost. Everybody who’s been on a date with somebody knows that there is a price that goes along with it, particularly those who do more of the paying. The first apparent thing that I would expect to come to your train of thought is that dating costs money. How will you pay for dinner and a movie without money? The next price is time – you’ll use this to find out if they are worth giving more time to, or if they’re full of themselves. Every growing relationship needs to have time invested into it. Maturity, probably the hardest thing to obtain and measure, needs to be present in any relationship...especially when dating. Are you able to handle the whole repertoire of emotions and issues that can and will come with dating? Do make sure that you are not just “rebounding” and are not still stuck on somebody else. How terrible it would be to have someone be with you while they are dreaming about somebody else. Be real with them as well as with yourself. Lastly, don’t date the first person who throws themselves at you because you feel alone. Keep to your standards, if you have any. Making someone feel special just one time and them dropping them is a real butt-head move. Don’t be manipulative for your own satisfaction and ego.

Preparing for dating...

Are your finances in order? Can you manage to pay to take your date out to dinner, or to the movies, or are you expecting them to pay? If you can’t buy a meal for yourself, you surely cannot afford the price for two. Make the time to be stable with money, instead of using your time for dating, use that time to learn about money management – budgeting, things you can do to increase your income, to basically just get you back on solid ground. Don’t put yourself in a position where you are trying to astound the person you’re dating by purchasing them things that will put you either more in debt, or make you fall behind in your already late rent. Shouldn’t dating be exhilarating? Then don’t make it something that will be stressful and burdensome on you. This is a bad idea if you’re trying to make a good impression, she’ll eventually find out. Women are looking for men who can give a certain amount of security as well as honesty, who’s capable on standing on their own feet. Just as women look for men who are stable, men look for women who are stable too, they are not looking for a person who just wants a handout. There are plenty of opportunities to grow financially; do not be afraid to ask for help, search the internet, or even pray to God and ask Him. There are agencies like Human Resources, churches, and others that are more than willing to help.

I’m not saying you have to be financially set to date, just be able to handle the cost as well as taking care of any of the financial responsibilities that you carry. In every other aspect I mention, it goes the same way. We all will go through various issues in life with many unusual life conditions. What I am striving for is a basic pre-dating outline that will be of help when you step into your season of dating. You will have to make the final decision on whether or not you are ready to begin dating seriously. Moving on...

What does your standard week look like? Is it jam-packed with work, school, a second job, helping family members, sports, etc? If you hope to date, then you must set aside time for it. Even people who are spontaneous need to make time for dating. The more you have on your plate to do, the less amount of time you will have to date period. Activities will have to be removed or shortened to set aside that time. This is a good thing, normally, until the things that are being cut back are the important gears in your life. I would hope that it was evident, but somehow it is not. Sadly I’ve watched individuals make careless decisions regarding time and activities when they begin seeing someone – whoever they are dating. Calling in sick to work, not showing up for classes, making excuses for not helping a family member or friend they said they would help is not wise for making time when you are dating. Heck, it is not wise period. If you are unable to set aside time to begin dating, or while dating, and doing so will affect work, school, or other responsibilities, then don’t do it. Cut back on other things – video games, shopping, watching T.V, browsing the internet, drinking all the time, hanging out with your friends every day, or something that won’t affect your responsibilities.

We exist in a society that loves to cut corners and enjoys instant satisfaction. The pitt-side to this is not having patience; our desires and our will must come instantly or somewhere close to that. This has led many people to become impatient, which leads them to make regretful decisions. Be wise and save yourself the time and heartache of such decisions by not allowing yourself to be so time-intolerant. Time will be saved because you will not have to go through the proceedings of having to mix that mistake, or have it made right.

As much as maturity has to deal with your time and money management, I also thought it would be wise to also stand alone in its own point. Too many times I have heard “maturity comes with time,” or that “they will change with time.” Sadly to say, but that is just wishful thinking. How many times have you made the same mistakes over and over? How many people do you know that have made the same mistake over and over? Maturity is hard to measure and it spans through many areas of a person’s life. It spans from money, to time, how one deals with anger, to being honest and keeping one’s word. Ask yourself some questions dealing with dating to see where you stand. Better yet, have a close friend who will be honest give their own little evaluation of you, ask a family member, even an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. Ask questions like: Do I get angry easily? How do I deal with that anger? How do I deal with the person’s anger that I’m seeing? Do I get jealous easily? Am I controlling? Am I vengeful? Do I flirt too much or lead on when I’m seeing someone else? Am I caring? Something to certainly ask yourself too is am I still getting over someone else? Don’t jump into the “rebound” game. Again, that’s a butt-head move. Know your strengths as well as your weaknesses so that you will respond during your next season of dating rather than reacting. Be mature by thinking first, that’s the difference between reacting and responding.

It is my hope that you will take this advice and stand on solid ground as you go from being single to dating. In fact, it is never too late to grow from any season you may find yourself in. Just remember though that change will have to begin with you and the decisions you make. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Walk strong in your next season of dating,

Ika