In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth...and Dating
He then created Adam and Eve. Fortunately for them their life was pretty set in the beginning, for at least awhile that is. I mean, they didn't even have to go through the whole dating process. In fact their "dating" period is probably the shortest one ever recorded in the Bible. For the only process they had to go through was to look at each other in the eyes and "BAMMO" they fell in love, and were married by God himself. It does make you wonder though, what would of happened if Eve demanded someone better looking. Anyway, good thing God already knew what they would like...
So here we have Adam waking up from "surgery" feeling a little groggy from the antiseptics. He looks around for a bit, letting his eyes adjust to the morning light, and sees this beautiful figure laying next to him (no, it was not from a night of partying and then going home with the first hottie who would throw herself at him). Their eyes meet and it was pure ecstasy. They were innocent, pure, and remember have not even sinned yet.
Can you imagine how it would have felt to be either of them? They didn't have to go through any courtship, meeting the parents, having in-laws, or go through any online dating site. Oh yes, there was certainly no baggage from the past to get in the way. They had a very easy start. Almost makes me jealous...almost. They were a match made in Heaven.
Unfortunately for the rest of us, we probably are not that lucky to go to sleep one night and then suddenly have the person of our dreams lying next to us when we wake up.
No, we have to work, fight, bleed, sweat and sometimes even cry for the person we are attracted to, let alone date and marry. Pathetic? Maybe, but nevertheless it's true and definitely the majority of us go through it. Now to define dating.
What is dating?
Merriam-Webster defines dating as "to make or have a date with." In Urban Dictionary: "n. a form of prostitution in which sex is paid for in installments rather than all at once." - Billie Carson. Here we have a very dull definition and then an extreme definition.
We all have our own ideas of what dating is. Growing up in Hawaii dating someone was always something that was exclusive. Many of us would only see one person at a time. There were no deviations. My idea of dating was when one person saw another with no in-betweeners or side anything’s...sex may, or may not be involved (depending on the individuals values). I should probably add that this was the norm in the area I lived in Hawaii, not exclusive for Hawaii.
Then I moved to California. Before coming here, and still after, I would hear rumors that Hawaii and California were similar in many ways. My expectations of the dating culture here were the same as Hawaii's, except in actuality it was not. Though there were variations, I found much of the people I talked to and associated with to be a multi-guy or girl daters. Something that I absolutely was not used to, especially when it often involved sex, or more commonly known as "hitting it"...and other such variations of that. I personally would not give myself to a person unless I knew they were serious about the relationship - marriage serious, that's just how I grew up and feel.
Dating is really a practice for marriage. The habits you form while you are dating are more than often the habits you will bring into marriage and vice-versa. While dating you will find out what you like and what you don't like in the person you want to be with. You will see your vulnerable spots and your strengths as a partner and friend.
If you are not dating for the purpose to see who you want to be with and marry, then there really is no point in you dating. I see no other purpose to dating than just that. I suppose it could be called "testing the water." I'm not speaking about people who go around just for the purpose of sex. That is a waste of time and has no purpose other than self-gratification.
Whether you group date, or go out as just a couple, dating is always exciting and curiously fun (unless you get stuck on a blind date put together by your overactive parents...God bless their souls). Dating is meant to be safe. If ever it becomes hostile or very uncomfortable, calmly remove yourself from the situation and have a friend or family member pick you up. As cliché as it may sound, make your safety come first. Because if you enjoy dating, going out with groups of friends, and want to get married, you'll have to make sure that you will be there to do that.
In a nutshell, a very small nutshell, this is what I believe dating to be. Go get em'!
